Self-Defense is a Way of Life (WAEP 18)

Self-defense the Hapkido Way

Self-defense is a way of life. Ever since my first day of training, when I was about 17 years old, I knew it would be with me forever. Training with others always is useful, but even when I haven’t had partners, I’ve practiced: mentally and physically. I run drills in my head, solo drills on an open floor, and practice kicks, punches, and blocks.

BUT…I always miss training with other people. It’s difficult to do a lock on yourself. Luckily, my son is willing to begin training with me, again, now that he’s taller than me! Keep me in your thoughts…

Back in August, Charlene Jones and I had a great conversation about martial arts and why I began studying. I mentioned a few tricks, tools, and tips. This is a nice addition to the chat she and I had earlier in 2016. Listening to this interview made me really want to practice a few locks!

Maybe it’ll motivate you, too!

Enjoy this episode and remember to leave me a comment or message.
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Resilience-building Strategies that Work! (WAEP17)


Are you feeling like a boulder landed on you after this election cycle? I’m struggling to get out from under the damn thing. So, I need to build my resilience. But, building your resilience isn’t just necessary when you’re disappointed about an election. Here are 5 science-backed strategies you can use, starting today!

Drumroll, please…

  • change the narrative
  • face your fears
  • practice self-compassion
  • meditate/practice mindfulness/gratefulness
  • cultivate forgiveness

It’s that simple!

If you’d like more information about building resilience, check out Afterall, I got these great tips from something they shared on Facebook.

If you want more information about well-being and happiness, go to Project Happiness and Greater Good in Action (I just completely their Science of Happiness course and it was awesome!)

Check out Zencastr if you’re looking for an affordable podcasting solution.  I used it to record today’s show!


Jump in the air like you just don’t care!

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Dream Healing, Visualization, and Moving Forward

Are you stuck like a truck
sinking in mud?

Charlene Jones is an expert in coaching others to
identify what’s getting them stuck, and more importantly, how to
get unstuck.

In part 2, we discuss dreams, dream journaling, and how to use
your dreams to help you better understand what’s happening in your
life. It’s fascinating stuff! She helped me unpack a dream about
spiders – and I hate spiders – which was key to understanding the
message. It was so obvious! Charlene knows a lot about the brain,
how we process information, and how it both helps and hurts

If you missed part one, be sure to check it out.


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Understanding Emotion and Healing

How do you deal with emotion?

Do you drink or eat excessively? Blow up? Manipulate

Charlene Jones has spent the better part of forty years
exploring what makes us tick by first understanding herself, and
then helping others to better understand themselves. She does this
through meditation (teaching and practicing), dream work, and

Check out her bio:

Initiation in a Tibetan Temple, a three month retreat, walking
on a glacier in Norway, riding in a four-seater Cessna through the
mountains in New Zealand, sailing the Gulf of Mexico during tornado
season, drinking chang with Mongel men: all these adventures and
more spill through the pages of Charlene Jones’ upcoming memoir, MY
IMPOSSIBLE LIFE. Rising through the ashes of a three day trama of
being held hostage by two armed criminals at the age of sixteen,
Charlene shares her journey of healing through meditation, dreams,
and a variety of other healing methods to bring her to a place of
love, peace, and contentment.

In part one of this interview, Charlene shares her incredible
journey and the importance of understanding and embracing our
emotions so that we can heal.

Charlene says, “When we’re not afraid of our emotions, then we
stay connected and grounded.”

You can learn more about Charlene by visiting Soul

Read Charlene’s current books:

Buddha, Medicine Mind



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WAEP14 Prime Your Brain


Prime your brain for positive gain!

Priming is the unconscious affect that one stimulus has on our response to another stimulus.

For example: If I prime you with the color yellow, then you’re more likely to identify a banana later, because yellow and banana are assoicated in your memory. You’ll do this more quickly than if you weren’t primed for yellow.

Words, images, and experiences can be used to prime our brains for future stimulus.

Our brain focuses on what we tell it to focus on, and it will search for stimulus that supports what we told it to look for.

If you want to increase your performance during a workout, prime yourself with a short list of words like: agility, strength, endurance, speed, and intensity.

5 Tips for Priming Your Brain:

  • Create word lists
  • Create affirmations
  • Meditate or use some other mindfulness activity (breathing)
  • De-clutter your environment
  • Exercise

BONUS TIP: Turn off your TV and stop news-binging. The media tends to prime us for fear, anger, and sadness.

Here are a few suggestions for word lists:

Success, prosperity, progress, fame, gain

Will power, determined, resolute, backbone, grit

Calm, cool, harmony, tranquil, still

Intelligent, brainy, bright, brilliant, resourceful

Financially secure, firm, in the black, out of the red, debt-free

Achieve, triumph, win, attain, accomplish

4 Simple Steps to Creating Affirmations:

  1. Write in the 1st person: I am
  2. Write in the positive: I am a healthy person.
  3. Include an emotional component: I love the way I feel when I make healthy choices.
  4. Write affirmations in the present: I am fit and strong.

Source: “Affirmations: The Why, What, How, and What if…” Psychology Today, March 12, 2014

Additional sources: “Happy Brain, Happy Life” Psychology Today, Aug. 2, 2011; “How to Hack Your Brain” Lifehacker, Jan. 31, 2011




Positive Affirmations Lite/Postitive Thinking

My Daily Affirmations Free (Search the Google Play store)

Badass Woman in History:

Marie Stopes

Safety Tip of the week:

Make sure you know how to get your car out of sticky situation. Keep a thin board in your trunk.

Stay smart. Stay safe.




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Top 10 Female Movie Leads with a Growth Mindset


Growth Mindset portrayed by

Female Leads in Movies

Todays’ Topics:

  1. Top 10 Female Movie Leads with a Growth Mindset
  2. Badass Woman in History Moment
  3. Safety Tip of the week
  • La Femme Nikita
  • GI Jane
  • Mulan
  • Bend it Like Beckham
  • The Quick and the Dead
  • Electra
  • Akeelah and the Bee
  • Beauty Shop
  • Katara from The Last Airbender animated series
  • Mae in Near Dark

Common themes:

  • unwillingness to accept how others define their world or them in it.
  • A willingness to take risks to achieve something more for themselves
  • Demonstrate a learning view of failure

More resources:

Honorable mentions (without female leads): A Knight’s Tale, Cool Runnings, Searching for Bobby Fisher, Redbelt, In Pursuit of Happiness, Stand & Deliver

Badass Woman in History: Helen Keller

  • 1st deaf-blind person to earn a BA (Radcliff, 1904)
  • A suffragette, pacifist, and birth control supporter
  • Authored 12 books
  • Credited for introducing the Akita dog breed to the U.S.
  • Advocated for people with disabilities
  • Awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (1964)
  • Member of the Socialist Party of America and the Industrial Workers of the World

Safety Tip of the Week:

When traveling somewhere new, get the lay of the land. If you’re staying in a hotel, ask staff members about the area. Are there any places that should be avoided? If so, where and when? Get the perspective of more than one person. Even though you probably have a map app on your phone, pick up a local print map of your immediate area. Become familiar with the major streets. Know where you are in relationship to the nearest hospital, bus/train, and police stations.


Check out this episode!

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WAEP12 Mindset Magic


Learn the magic of having the right mindset!

Do you have a fixed or a growth mindset, or both?

According to Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, it’s possible to have one or the other, and sometimes even both! We can have a fixed mindset for a particular area of our life, but have a growth mindset for every other area. (There’s nothing magic about that, but there’s more…)

A key thing to remember:

Learn to recognize when you’re mind is fixed.

How? Your language will be absolute, and oftentimes negative. For example,

“I can’t lose twenty pounds. Everyone in my family is just big-boned.”

“I can’t do algebra. I’m not smart enough.”

“I can’t run a mile! I can barely walk a block.”

Fixed-minded peope don’t like challenges, see failure as a threat to their intelligence, and don’t see learning as a process.

People who focus on growth enjoy the process of learning and believe that, with effort, success can be theirs. Failure is viewed as a necessary part of the process.

How can you develop a growth mindset?

  • Believe that your brain works like a muscle. With the right training, our brains can develop.
  • Use the word “yet” when describing skills you want to develop.
  • Affirm things that can be controlled. You can’t control your height, but you can control your weight.
  • Surround yourself with growth mindset people

Source: 4 Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset in Students

Source: 25 Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset

Source: How can you change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset?

Badass Women in History Moment

Lucy Parsons – Visit Elizabeth Kerri Mahon’s site for a great write-up!

Safety Tip of the Week

This is a reminder: Don’t broadcast your vacations on social media.

Song credits: “Dirt Rhodes” -“Take a Chance”-“Feeling Good”

Kevin MacLeod ( Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

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WAEP11 Top 15 Safety Tips for Women

Safety is your #1 priority

Wherever you are and wherever you go, your first priority is to ensure your safety and the safety of your loved ones.

These 15 tips will help you do that. If you’d like to add to this list, leave a comment in the section below.

This episode of the Womanly Art of Self-Defense is sponsored by Ardent Media where passion meets purpose.


Not being able to govern events, I govern myself

Top 15 Safety Tips 

  1. Always have a way home from wherever you are
  2. Always have money for the bus, a taxi, a ferry, or a train
  3. Always have a fully charged phone
  4. Always have at least a 1/2 tank of gas
  5. Always walk with your head up
  6. Always walk like you’ve got somewhere to be
  7. Always think of what you wear or carry as a potential weapon
  8. Always know where you’ve parked your car
  9. Always lock your doors and windows
  10. Always ask for ID before unlocking your door
  11. Always watch people who’ve entered your home
  12. Always listen to your gut
  13. Always check your car before getting inside
  14. Always have a plan of “escape” when out on a date with someone new
  15. Always keep track of your drink

Badass Women in History Moment:

Victoria Woodhull

  • In 1868, she owned the first female-run stock brokerage company
  • In 1870, she founded and published the Woodhull & Clafin’s Weekly, a radical paper that was the first to publish the English translation of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto.
  • In 1872, she ran for US President with (quite possibly) the abolitionist Frederick Douglas as her running mate on the Equal Rights Party ticket.

Safety Tip of the Week:

Know how to change your spare tire.


Your comments and reviews of the show are appreciated and help other people, like you, discover the podcast. THANK YOU for rating and reviewing the Womanly Art of Self-Defense on iTunes and Stitcher.

Check out Jesse’s new podcast, Turning Cartwheels.

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WAEP10 Consistency Stops Creativity


You’ve probably been told that once or twice, huh? And it’s definitely important, but…

What if consistency is holding you back in some way?

Consistency is us in our comfort zone which means we’ll likely experience steady performance.

Pretty cool, right?

Maybe, maybe not. It can be good and it can be bad.

What if the thing you’re consistent about is smoking, excessive drinking, drug use, or indulging in your favorite ice cream?

You get the idea.



Improvisational mindset (IM) is optimal anxiety leading to maximized performance.  It’s us saying, “yes, and,” to opportunities that might scare us a little.

As you learn new things, keep this in mind:

We all experience 4 levels of learning.


  1. Unconscious incompetent (We don’t know what we don’t know.)
  2. Conscious incompetent (Now we know what we don’t know.)
  3. Conscious competent (We know what we’re doing.)
  4. Unconscious competence (We can do the activity without thinking about it.)

Be patient with yourself as you endeavor to change bad habits, instill new ones, and become a stronger, more confident person.

What are you doing to shake up your routine? 

Useful links

The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone

Build Better Habits with the Improvisational Mindset

GE Personal Security Kit (for apartments)

Sarah E. Goode

The Five Minute Journal



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WAEP9 Pretty Loaded Keeps You Safe

Pretty Loaded logo


Are you Pretty Loaded?

You might not be, yet, but by the end of this episode you might be inspired to get there. Feeling safe and staying that way can be as simple as paying closer attention to the world around you.

Hard to believe?

Beth Warford created Pretty Loaded as a direct response to a scary encounter she had with some young buck who’d stalked her. Now, she and her small team are creating situational awareness PSAs and providing training internationally.

After you watch a few of their videos, you’ll see how becoming more aware (condition yellow) really can keep you safe.

Her down-to-earth, practical approach to self-defense is a perfect fit for the Womanly Art of Self-Defense.

Check out this Psychology Today article for more information about the Grayson-Stein Study that Beth mentioned.

Here’s the link to the elevator safety video I mentioned during our chat.

Here’s Pretty Loaded’s elevator safety video.

As I thought more about the differences between these two videos, it occurred to me that men are often preparing for a potential fight, while women are avoiding a potential fight. Neither bad nor good, just an observation. Both videos offer useful information.

Check out this episode!


If you’re looking for more information about situational awareness, check out WAEP2.

And if you want more details about aggressive body language, check out WAEP1.

Stay smart. Stay safe.

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